The Three Times I met Stargirl
by HopeThisWorksOut
Summary: "Dear Stargirl..." This is a letter to Stargirl from Leo's POV, about the two times he thought he saw Stargirl, and the last time, when he finally did. Very fluffy, and I tried to keep to Jerry Spinelli's style too and make it funny in places. It's not as good in the beginning, but I swear it gets better :)


Dear Stargirl,

I saw you three times after I went out to check the mail that one day, and saw the longest letter in the world jammed into my mailbox. I'm sure the mailman thought it was a teenage joke, but to me, every page of the letter (book, really), every word, every loop in your bumpy writing was precious to me. It hurt when you told me how exactly you'd felt about Perry at first, and when I read about that first kiss, I had nearly thrown the letter into the fire (dramatic, I know, but I have my moments). I didn't want to read about how you slowly forgot about me and fell in love with another boy. Especially one named Perry Dellophane. Especially someone that was so unlike me in almost every way. I know I was being jealous and petty, and that it was certainly true that I didn't deserve you after letting you go in highschool, and thinking all the other people mattered, when really, only you did.

And when I read all the way to the end of the letter, my eyes were damp, and I just couldn't stop smiling.

I was all for begging Archie for your address, using all my savings to buy a ticket to Pennsylvania and arriving on your doorstep sweaty, smiling and holding out a box of smashed potatoes. But Señor Saguaro and Archie convinced me to take your advice, and just to let our destinies collide. It was hard to wait for fate, but I knew that's what you wanted, so I stayed put.

I'm going to be honest here, and just say it straight out. Sometimes, I got angry at you for leaving like that, angry at Archie for not giving me the address, angry at Senor Saguaro for backing him up, and angry at your assurance and faith in fate at the end of your letter. So when a talkative girl with short brown hair asked me to be her boyfriend, I said yes. I'm sorry. To both you and her. I never loved her the way I loved you, and she knew that. She thought time would make us grow closer, and that memories of the infamous Stargirl would fade one day. They didn't, and we broke up underneath the big oak tree in Terrysvile garden. Even though neither of us had been truly happy in the relationship, she cried and talked a lot, and I just looked down and mumbled sorry. I was miserable for a long time until one day, your message finally tapped me on the shoulder, looked me sternly in the eye, and said 'hey mister, its time you let go of Stargirl and enjoy life until you meet her again. Stop living in yesterday or tomorrow, and live in today.' That stuck with me, and I began to feel less guilty and stopped punishing myself so much. I went out with a girl called Rebecca Townson for a while, but we broke up amicably when she decided to move out of the States for university, and I decided to stay.

You don't know this, but I saw you three times after I made up my mind to just live life.

The first was a few years after I had received your letter, around two years after Rebecca and I started to get serious. Our family went to Iceland (Iceland! Your enchanted country! See, I do remember what you say.) It was freezing there, but there was more grass than I expected. Acres of it, everywhere. I remember being so excited about how green it was that I went on little adventures in the grasslands. I took pictures of everything there, and I _mean _everything. You would have been proud of how much I noticed – from the little spotted ladybugs to the texture of the soil. I guess I looked crazy – a tourist with in a red jacket and a dripping nose pointing his camera at the ground… but I was so into the photography that for once, I didn't care what I looked like. Like I said, you would have been proud of me. On one of these trips, I lay down on the wet grass, and just kind of thought about everything. You and me. Rebecca. Archie. DodoBirds,WhytheEarthRevolvesAroundtheSun,WhoInven tedMusic,SpeechContests….. when suddenly I looked to the side, and saw… you. I did, Stargirl. You're going to say I'm crazy, but to this day, I swear I did. You were a tiny dot in the faraway café (you didn't think I just lay in ANY grassy field, did you? I may have loosened up, but I made sure I loosened up in some deserted field.), but your hair was the same shade of sand-on-a-warm-beach, your bouncy walk was the same, and I swear I could even see Cinnamon on your shoulder. Okay, I'll be completely truthful now. I know that it probably wasn't you –it probably wasn't even a girl that looked like you, but in that moment, I was absolutely convinced. I squinted my eyes to make your face out better, and I had started walking towards the café, leaving my camera behind. It just seemed so fitting that you'd be in Iceland – your magical place. You and me, in your enchanted country, just as if nothing had changed. I wanted to go back in time. I wanted to say I was sorry, that I missed you, that I never forgot you, not even for a day. But most of all, I just wanted to stand next to you, to listen to you talk, and that great big laugh of yours, because that would've completed Iceland. Iceland seemed so magical that you _needed_ to be there, you know? By the time I had crossed the field, you were gone. But I went around telling my parents, and Archie, and even Kevin that I had seen you. None of them believed me, but I was sure. I needed to believe that you were in the country of your dreams, because you completed the magic somehow.

The second time was years and years later. I had already begun my job as a journalist, and had gotten into the groove of the typical Arizonian journalist. Which just basically means a wearing a funny shaped hat, buttoned up shirt and a jacket that I kept over my arm, but never wore, and walking around very fast. I had written a few articles that had been praised, and I felt like I was on my way up in the world of journalism. By that time, Rebecca and I had long broken up, but we still exchanged weekly emails. I was feeling lonelier than ever though. Even though I was still in Arizona, for the first time, I was away from everything I knew and loved. I was in what we used to call the 'swanky' part of town. No one seemed particularly inclined to make friends, and I was being 'stiff Leo', where I was too scared to do what made me happy. So I stayed behind my computer day after day, nodding to colleagues when really I should be saying 'hey, what's up? I'm Leo, and I collect neckties. How about you?' One day, I was eating lunch by myself in the diner across the street, and feeling sorry for myself when I saw you! My eyes nearly fell out of my head. Because you'd never believe this, but you were driving a silver lunch truck! The silver lunch truck of your dreams! I jumped up from my seat, and ran out of the diner, throwing down way too much money for a greasy sandwich. I wasn't going to let you get away this time! I must have looked like a maniac, but once again, I simply didn't care. I stopped a little way behind you, and tried to calm my breathing. I imagined you turning around, that bright smile on your face, and those giant eyes telling me stories of where you'd been, before you even opened your mouth to greet me. I was scared too, of course. What if your chocolate brown eyes were angry? What if they said 'I don't know anyone called Leo except the jerk that cared more about what his friends though than himself or me or the world around him'? So I carefully tapped the girl's shoulder and ventured a tentative 'Hello? Star…' I stopped when she turned around. In many ways, she was like you. And in all the other ways, she was not. Besides her sandy hair in a long braid down her back, her small frame and the confidence she exuded when telling her colleagues what to do, she looked and acted nothing like you. She had medium sized grey eyes that didn't say anything besides 'HELLO SIR, CAN I HELP YOU? (BECAUSE YOU'RE REALLY BOTHERING ME RIGHT NOW, CANT YOU SEE IM IN THE MIDDLE OF UNPACKING?), and angry pink rosebud lips that said the same thing – except not the part in brackets.

'Erm, I…I'm sorry, I thought you were Sta…someone else.' I stumbled.

'Hmm. That's okay. I get that sometimes.' She smiled a little.

'The truck you drive… that isn't by any chance a lunch truck, is it?' I had to ask.

'No! Why would you get that impression? I don't think they have lunch trucks anymore! No, this is a delivery truck. We run a delivery service for stationery, so we're just unloading that into that building right there.'

'Oh. Sorry again. I'll… I'll just leave you to it then.'

And with that, I scarpered, and walked quickly away, bumping into a bunch of colleagues at the office that I had never really talked to. In my nervousness, I quickly began a conversation with them. 'Hey, Jim, is it? I'm Leo. Erm, did you catch the game last night? Crazy, wasn't it…' I had no idea what I was talking about really, and I had only watched the game in a half-awake state, but Jim nodded eagerly and started explaining the logistics of football, gesturing animatedly. Relieved, I just nodded whenever he paused, and tried to steer the subject to safer ground when I had the chance.

I can hear you laughing now, but that second accidental sighting brought me closer to Jim Parsons and his 'gang' at the office. All of a sudden, I had a bunch of friends that I could see after work, and people to eat lunch with and complain about the boss with. All because of my mistake. So what you said about fate and destiny was quite true afterall.

Now for the third time. It was a warm spring's day, a few years after the second time I had seen you, and I had just finished visiting Archie and Senor Saguaro. Archie had seemed unusually excited about something, but when I asked, he would just gesture at the desert and say 'the spring rains are coming'. All cryptically too, so I got a bit frustrated, and stopped asking. Which, now that I think back on it, was probably what he wanted. He's a clever man, that Archie. I had stayed for quite a while, drinking his tea, telling him about work and my colleagues, and the redhead at the office who seemed to be flirting with me, and the unusual articles I had written lately; he told me about my parents, the desert flowers coming up soon, Senor Saguaro, and little Peter and his broken leg. The sun was setting when I got up to leave, and when I was halfway out the door, Archie suddenly motioned at the small brown package on his table. 'I forgot to tell you, that's yours.' He said, before moving very swiftly to the kitchen, where he began washing our cups noisily. Suspicious. 'Where did it come from? Why is it with you?' I asked, as I brought the package to the kitchen. I turned off the water and looked him straight in the eye. 'What's this about Archie? We don't keep secrets from each other! This isn't like you! What is it?'

'Just open it'. Archie seemed curiously insistent all of a sudden, completely abandoning the feigned nonchalance he had a moment ago.

'Hmm, maybe I'll wait. I'm going now.' I turned around to go, just to tease him a little, and to show I was a little annoyed.

'Just open it.' Archie repeated firmly. His tone of voice stopped me, and when I turned back around, I saw he was trembling.

I tried to help him into a chair, but he would have none of it, and just kept insisting I opened the package. So I did. Inside was a beautifully pressed, dark brown, beady eyed, rough edged porcupine necktie. I looked up in surprise, too in shock to even comprehend what it meant.

Archie stayed silent as I collected myself. It took a few moments before I could speak again.

'Stargirl… She's back?' I sounded hoarse, and it was suddenly very hard to swallow. I had no idea you still had this effect on me. See, you took my breath away…literally.

'Yep. She's been back a few days, visiting her parents. She left this with me when she came to see me yesterday. We had a nice long chat about astronomy, and animals in the desert, and the people she's met since she left. You'll never guess what she is now…'

'A silver lunch truck driver?' I interrupted excitedly, hands still sweaty.

'Nah, that's only a holiday thing for her now. She drove a silver lunch truck for a while, but sold the business after it got big. She never wanted the fame or the money, our Stargirl. She's a dentist.'

'W…what?' Out of all the jobs I thought you would have, dentist was the last thing on the list. Mountain climber? Sure. Botanist? Why not? Eagle trainer for a gypsy circus? It's possible! But dentist? No way!

But then I imagined you – a slightly aged version of the 16 year old you I still remembered – laughing with the children as you counted their teeth with them, comforting the secretly-frightened adults by telling them about your secret hideouts while cleaning their teeth, chatting with the elderly as you gently filled in their cavities… it was possible.

I looked at Archie, and was surprised to find that both our eyes were a bit watery. We weren't crying, of course. Must have been all that sand from the desert.

'Where is she now?' I asked slowly, afraid he would withhold your address like he did last time. But Archie answered steadily, 'Just down the road; she's staying with her parents.'

'Can I…? Did she say if she would like me to…? I mean I wouldn't want to…'

'Just go, Leo. I know she wants to see you.'

Feeling breathless, I ran out of the house, and took the quickest bus your house. My mind was blank then. Now that I was so close to meeting you, _finally_ meeting you after all these years, I had no idea what to say. What to expect. I hadn't asked Archie how you looked like, or if you still smiled like you used to, and if your brown eyes still told me stories of magical places. I didn't ask if you still had Cinnamon, or if you thought about me from time to time, or if… I froze. What if you were married? Or with someone? It wasn't impossible. In fact, it was very possible for a rare ray of sunshine like you. I had wanted to turn back then and there, but then I told myself to get a grip. So what if she's not yours anymore? You had no claim to her anyway. Go, see her as friends.

The bus stopped a little way from your house, and as I walked there, I got increasingly anxious. What if you weren't even home? What if you were? What would I say? How would I start? By the time I had gotten to your gate, I was a nervous wreck.

At the mailbox, a slender woman in a flowery dress was leaning down and peering into the mailbox with her back to me. Could it be you?

I cleared my throat and called 'hello?' cautiously.

The woman looked around, and oh! It was you. It was really, really you! Not some mirage! Not some woman who _looked_ like you, but it actually was you!

You were the first to speak. 'Leo!' It wasn't even a question. You knew too.

'Stargirl!' I had never smiled so widely in my life.

You smiled back, just as widely, without reserve, like you always did. Your huge eyes smiled at me, your freckles smiled at me, your lips smiled at me. You held up your arms, and I moved into them quickly, holding you to me like I did all those years ago. Like I should've held you on the day you stopped being Susan Carraway and became Stargirl again. I felt my eyes getting watery again, and hugged you closer to me.

'Stargirl.' I whispered into your hair, and I could feel you smiling into my shoulder.

'You're still in love with me, aren't you?' You asked me years and years later, just as you did that day by your mailbox.

'Yes, very much.' I answered you with a smile, just like I did then. I tugged a strand of your long sandy hair gently.

'Good, because I'm very much in love with you too.' You laughed and cuddled into my chest.

I have never been happier, Stargirl.

I know it's silly to be writing you this letter when I see you everyday, and we live together, and we tell each other everything that happened every day. But I've never told you about those two times I thought I saw you, and how I felt when I actually saw you that last time.

I love you Stargirl, and I always will.

Love,

Starboy


End file.
